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Talk:Storm Templars
There are several issues with this article, but the most blatant bullshit is that each Company is supposed to have an Apocalypse Class Battleship in their fleet. Aside from the fact that this is a Vessel of the Imperial Navy and not the Astartes, Apocalypse Battleships are not produced anymore, due to the knowledge needed to construct and maintain them lost. A whole Segmentum Fleet is supposed to have several. It's ludicrous to assume that a Space Marine Chapter would have 10 of them. I recommend you properly freshen up on the fluff. (BacaloV (talk) 11:59, May 6, 2018 (UTC)) I'm responding to your message ony my talk page and pointing out some more things. (Side note: You signature did not work properly.) The first thing that sticks out a bit sorely is the thing against Ahriman. Putting your Chapter against canon forces or characters is not necessarily bad, but it should be done sparingly. Typically, this is done by putting them on the sidelines of a larger conflict and have them do stuff like securing supply lines or destroying enemy comm-bases. Putting them directly at the frontline usually appears like you want to force them into the spotlight. In this very example, it comes off as slightly unbelievable. Ahriman is a sorceror with 10.000 years of experience when it comes to combat, typically accompanied by soulless, unforgiving Thousand Sons (usually with about 10.000 years experience as well), carrying weapons powered by the Warp. So, having your Paragon go toe-to-toe with these monsters would most certainly not end all too well for him. The section about Space Combat. Astartes ships are not designed for space combat, they are mainly aimed for planetary assault and landing operations. Meaning that they have good protection and obviously excel at boarding actions, they lack some of the more long range weaponry employed by dedicated void vessels. Furthermore, a Space Marine fleet is usually much smaller than their opponent, putting them on another disadvantage. If you want your Astartes to do void operations, have them frequently work together with the Navy, because on their own, they are just not effective at it. Especially the part about ramming. Astartes ships are often few and valuable, so going for ramming operations is just irresponsible. There are dedicated boarding vessels for that job, like the Caestus Assault Ram or Boarding Torpedoes. Next thing is the 'each company has their specialty' section. It's not against canon or anything, but it decreases the originality of your chapter somewhat. No Chapter can ever master all disciplines of war and while some might think the Ultramarines do, they are more about being dedicated just enough to each form of war to answer a variety of situations. The same thing goes for the home world Valencia 'every climate the Astartes could ever fight in' is just too much. What about fighting in a world without atmosphere? To improve it, I recommend giving it a moderate atmosphere like earth with varied kinds of environment and have it produce some deadly creatures with a specific knack to them, like incredibly high senses or super tough skin. Something your Astartes actually have to adapt to, which gives them a certain proficiency against certain kinds of enemies. The section about the Emperor is a bit indecisive. What comes to mind is that they could regard themselves as sons of the Emperor rather than their Primarch, resulting in their belief to be His spiritual successors. Secondly: 'Creating New Technology'. No. Just don't do that. Astartes are warriors first, second and third. They do create new vehicles like the Land Raider Redeemer, but these are usually the result of specific situations demanding a new approach and generally follow the concept of 'attach guns to thing which have not been attached to thing before.' The AdMech is in charge of technology, that's the deal they struck with the Emperor, and creating new technology is heresy in their eyes. Not all of these issues are actually violating canon, but some are. If you have further questions or objections to my points, don't hesitate to reach out to me. BacaloV (talk) 15:25, May 31, 2018 (UTC)